Gay Spots in Gay Cities
|So last week I got a call that my Grandma had died. Sad I know, but it is actually ok, we knew she was going to go for months and now she is not in any pain. So with her passing on, I was on the plane and remembered a funny radio commercial I heard in college over the Point Park Radio station. It was a commercial for making a funeral fun and although their commercial was funny, I like to take things to the next level. So anyways, although some of this is that DJs stuff, I wanted to make sure he got credit and the rest of this, well it just sometimes flows when you are stressed or have a ton of emotion. Anyways, welcome to "
We put the "FUN" back in FUNerals"rant and rave at GayWeddingGear.com.
Welcome to the Gay Wedding Gear Funeral home where we turn your normal hum drum funeral into a brand new celebration of life, love and pure entertainment. As we say, Mom may have been a buzz kill in her life, but that doesn't mean you can't get your buzz on at our round the clock coffin flip cup tournament where you not only flip a cup, sink a quarter, but you can also sink the old girl in the ground with a smile on your face and you probably won't even remember the burial place.
So drinking isn't your thing, big deal, come join us in the cryogenic tower for an all out afternoon of freezing corpsical fun on our cryogenic snow ski lift and slope. Although granny wasn't much for adventure and grandpa had that broken hip, that doesn't mean you can't celebrate by cutting a 720 on our finger rimmed halfpipe or join granny in the casket while flying down our coffin tabogin trail. Granny may have driven at 20 miles per hour on the highway, but the whole family can finally enjoy a fast paced trip with her on this thrill ride. Jump on in and spend those last minutes with the family and granny at a 60 mile race to the finish.
Now, as we all know, every FUNeral starts with "Fun", so if you're still frozen and hungry from all the fun in the snow? We have the solution to your hunger pains and woes. Come visit our Crematorium powered brick ovens and Pizza works where you can enjoy world class pizza fired to perfection in our tower of heated power ovens reching over 2,000 degrees. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust our Pizza ovens and sauce are to die for and try them you must!
Now before you get too excited, you may want to visit our spa for an aftermath crematorium ash bath and moisture rub down to let your food settle before jumping into our embalming fluid water park! Yes, you heard us, kids misbehaving, picking the funeral flowers, not being quiet during the service, well we have the solution for you.
Bring your brats down to the water slides. Don't let the kids remember Dad with a fear of heights, let them remember him racing them down the speed slides, heck he's already frozen stiff so why not let him loosen up and win one last race with the kids before he has to chase the reaper. Then again, if speed slides aren't the thing for your family, grab a paddle and jump on Dad for a trip around the lazy river. Yes, your family can use Dad's spare tire as a flotation device to enjoy a relaxing afternoon paddling and playing in our very own lazy river rapids ride where your family can send him off just like he liked, half tanked and in the tub. Still not exciting enough for you, then jump on in to the sterile solution wave pool. Yes, you and your family can continue to ride the waves and continue that vacation without the fear of the shark that nabbed poor old Sally at the beach last week and ended your vacation just a little bit to soon. I mean come on, Sally loved the beach so why not let her go how she would have wanted.
If you're planning your funeral, or someone is getting to that special age, reserve your day of fun in advance and receieve a special discount on all that the Gay Wedding Gear Funeral Parlor has to offer! On a side note, the gay wedding gear funeral parlor does not exist and cannot take your reservations as this is all a joke.
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