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Welcome to questions and answers. This is where the diva, the doctor, the director and all the other D's in my life come out to answer the questions that seem to plague us all. BTW I am not really a doctor, this is just my opinion. Enjoy!

Q: Why is it soo important for you to have gay marriage be recognized by the State and The Country? What will you gain from it.

This answer is simple. I think that PFLAG summed it up the best with the bulleted list found here. In short, we are loosing out on a lot fo the benefits and rights that straight people have by being able to be considered a couple. Read the list and you will see.

Q: I came out of the closet and everyone is now ok with me being gay. Now I need to tell my family who is against gay marriage that I am getting married to my partner, what do I do?

A: This is simple. Coming out of the closet can be one of the hardest things in the world for any gay man, lesbian, or anyone in the LGBT rainbow. Once you do this soo many emotions fly as we all know. Friends want to know why you wouldn;t tell them, some people will hate you and not speak to you again and others will give you a big hug and say that it doesn't matter. "We still love you anyways no matter who you are".
That last group is the best because they support you. Well when you meet that right person who you want to spend your life with, sometimes religion or personal feelings can get in the way. They are ok with the gay thing but not with you getting married. Sure they want you to have Equal and the same Civil Rights they have access to, but they still can't get over the word marriage. A few way you can combat the objection are:

1. Call it a Civil Union of Love between you and your partner
2. Don't hold it in a religious building like a church or temple. There are a ton of great places to get married such as a country club or a bathhouse, Just Kidding.
3. If you are set on having it in a religious building, and your family and/or friends are anything like mine, stereotypically jewish, create the menu around the foods they like the most. They might oppose your wedding at first, but if they hear braised shortribs, or creme brulee or anything involving Chocolate Lava, you are now home free!
4. Go for the guilt! Tell them you still love them even though they they are choosing to not be with you on the biggest day of your life. They will be missing being a part of something that will change your life forever and maybe your relationship. Twist the knife a little bit by saying you wanted them in the wedding party and then end it by thanking them for being the best friend or favorite relative. Give him/her a hug and let a few tears fall. Then excuse yourself and say don't worry, I still love you and quietly shut the door. Trust me, this is a fun one!
5. Point out the fact that straight couples are forced into marrying eachother everyday. Some straight couples make a mockery of marriage like Britney Spears did. Then let them know, people who don;t even care for eachother are abusing a right, not a privelage, and treating it like garbage while two people who are really in love and will do their best to uphold the value and traditions of marriage cannot.
I can go on and on and on about ways to tell you how to make it easier for you to make your second coming out, announcing your gay marriage, abit less stressfull, but you need to find the way that will work best for you.
For me, I am lucky and might not have these problems, if anyone doesn't respect or accept that one day I too will be getting married, at least if my mother has her way, I will simply make a joke out of their closed mindedness and say, your just scared we are going to add a few feathers and beads and sell it back to your cheap ass doubel the price. Then I will get up and walk away. If the person loves me, they can get over their ideals for one day and be happy for me regardless of their personal opinions. There comes a point in time when we have to give up our personal opinions for a while to help save a relationship or a person we care about.
Anyway you think about it, there is a way to get your plans announced to your friends and family, you just have to be brave and creative when doing it.

Q: Can you give me a short list of ways to make the wedding night romantic or exciting?

A: Can I ever, however I am going to keep this as PC and G rated as Possible. Use these, come up with your own, a combination of any and all. Its your night you need to make it special.
1. F(*& The hell out of him/her! DUHHHHH j/k ;-)
2. Have the hotel or bed and breakfast etc... lay red rose petals all over the room and sheets.
3. Chocolate works great for me, have a bubble bath with chocolate scents and oils all around for your partner while you get the room ready.
4. Edible clothing which tastes good can work.
5. Dress as virginal as possible like it is the first time either of you have ever done anything with anyone.
6. Remember it is about eachother, so if you both keep focusing on working on he other person, it will either be the best or the worst you have had ;-). Unless your are into master and slave, then by all means, let them focus everything on you!
7. Try using some toys or something new. Get kinky. This store has almost all the popular items for birthdays, personal use, partnered use, bachlor and bachlorette parties alike at very low discounted prices. Adult toys at GreatPleasures
8. Try to remember something special that your lover has only mentioned once or twice, pick his/her friend's minds and go overboard with it to really make it worthwhile. If yellow roses are his thing, get 20 dozen and have them everywhere. If food is hers, buy strawberrys, raspberrys and chocolate sauce or make a fondue to use on his/her body. In other words, take something your lover loves but does not get to do or does not do often and find a way to incorporate it into the special night.

Q: Is edible clothing acceptable and romantic, if so what would you reccomend?

A: Hey, if that is what gets ya going, it is chocolate and strawberries, whipped cream etc... for me, more power to ya! On the other hand, have you ever tasted edible underwear? Not so pleasent is it? As for a suggestion, take a fruit roll up and wrap it around your (ding dong) and make him work it off.

Food can be a great way to break in a romance and keep you from getting hungry during long and intimate play. Just remember, it can also get very messy. Try not to get to carried away. You can also combine other things, if you are wearing edible underwear or bra, and having your new husband or wife come in to find you in a pose on the bed or by the bed, in a chair etc.... try and compliment yourself with contrasting or matching rose petals. You may also use this time to chill some champagne or a beverage which you both enjoy and really tingles your senses. Not only will it be the drink you associate with your first romantic encounter as a happily married gay couple, but trust me, you are going to need something to was down the nastiness of the edible clothing LOL.

Q: Why do gay weddings need different clothing and products than straight? Don't we all wear the same things?

This question comes from the webmaster of Cow Dancewear

A: No, although tuxedos and gowns might be the same. Some gay people like weddings bands to have pride symbole like two male symbols on the inside of the wedding band. Also the cake toppers have two grooms or two brides on them instead of a man and a women. There are a ton of merchants out there which offer products for your gay wedding. I mean come on lets face it; Although ,marriage is a bond between two people who love eachother (or should be) there are some differences which you cannot ignore. Although alot of heterosexual people might not think of these little details because the stereotypical wedding ceremonies are implanted in our heads. It is these little detals which are the most important to us, like having a priest, rabbi or the commitment reader not stuble or skip a beat when they say man and husband or woman and wife.
I am very fortunate to have heterosexual readers like this wonderful webmaster and I encourage you all to ask me these questions. These are the ones I will take serously as they are the more important ones. Gay weddings and straight weddings are both about love, but when it comes to the little details, that is what makes them different. I knoe I am not going to buy two sets of cake toppers and have to split them to make two men or two women and that is why I have this question and answer, to let you know people make the products so you don't have to go the extra mile and can enjoy your special day! If you have a question, write to