Mistakes Couples Make with Planning a Wedding - Wedding Day Mistakes.
So I went to a gay wedding this weekend and it was an absolute mess. Not the couple, not their guests, but the planning and overall wedding. The couple looked amazing,,,well physically and they are cute together and it was a gorgeous ceremony, sort of...the thing that ruined it was their wedding planning and lack of communication.
Now, in their defense they did get a legal marriage a year ago in California, but at the same time if you're going to have another wedding and invite a ton of people to it, you need to remember to prepare for them and if you are going to make mistakes like no bar, no food or appetizers and no matching outfits or tuxedos or wedding party with matching clothes, you should let the guests know to not blow a ton of money on a gift from Tiffany's or even a moderate gift from Nordstroms or Macys.
Now, I know that the economy is down and people are having a hard time, so a cash bar, appetizers and no food are more acceptable at a wedding, but it is important to let your guests know to eat ahead of time, or to properly prepare and let them know about a theme or dress code, etc... I'm not bitching about this wedding, well actually I am, but I thought it would be good to create a list for everyone of mistakes that couples make when planning their wedding and of wedding day mistakes that couple make. These are only a few but ones that a ton of couples make. Soo anyways, remember to take these with a grain of salt because not everyone thinks that these are huge mistakes, not everyone even thinks of them, but at the same time they can make or break your wedding. So here are mistakes couples make with their wedding and planning their wedding and solutions to wedding day mistakes.
1. The Bar. Ok so here's the deal, not everyone drinks and bars can be expensive, but if you drink or like to drink or invite guests that like to drink, it is important to have a bar there and if you cannot afford an opened bar with premium liquor, then do mid shelf and rail. If you cannot afford opened, then go to a cash bar and let guests know a head of time so they can prepare and bring cash. If for some reason you don't want to do a cash bar or cannot afford the bartender the caterer or the venue provides, don't let them tell you what you can or cannot do because they will try to tell you you cannot bring in your own liquor and bartender which is absolute crap. I have had this same fight with a ton of venues and caterers and they always loose, including an event we did for a company out in Vegas at the Palms Hotel. They eventually gave in so don't give up. Also, remember that in most cities there is a huge depression and if bringing in your own bartender and liquor is that much of an issue, then guess what, their venue isn't good enough for your wedding. Although the threat can cause you to loose the venue so you should have a back up wedding venue planned, it can also work to get them to cave in. You can also pit the two venues together into a bidding war (make sure you do not tell them who the other wedding venue is or they can call each other) and really get your price down so you can have the bar opened.
To lower the costs of your bar, when you get the venue to let you bring your own bar, find a college student from a bartending school, or your favorite restaurant and give them $50 for the night and let them set out a tip jar. Then depending on which state you live in, find a liquor discount store like Binnys and buy and bring your own at a discount then serve it to your guests as this is a private event and not serving to the public. You may want to check and make sure it is legal, but I don't think it'll be an issue, I think that private events can serve alcohol, but check with your local laws first. Also, don't ask the venue or caterer as they may lie and say you cannot when you actually can.
2. Your wedding cake...what could be wrong with a wedding cake? The couple that had their wedding this weekend actually had a gorgeous cake, the issue with it was that it was only gorgeous from the front. They forgot to make it look great all the way around. Now, if you keep your cake in a corner against the wall, then this is fine since it can only photographed from one view and no one will get a shot of your wedding cake from the sides or the back, however, if you plan on actually showing your cake to your friends and family and making it stand out, make sure your design looks great from all angles and all sides. The wedding photographer always takes pictures of your wedding cake and you want to make sure that if it is in the background, it looks great no matter where people are standing. This is also a common mistake that bakeries make.
If you watch the Food Network Challenge on Food Network when they do cakes, something they almost always comment on is that the bakers and cake decorators forget to make the cake look good from all angels and from behind the main scene. Remember to tell your baker and decorator to design it from all angels and not to forget the back of the cake as people and the wedding photographer will be walking around it at all angels and will take pictures of the cake and with the cake behind people from all angels and you want it to look great from all angels.
3. Food. It is a rough time right now in the USA. Not everyone can have 300 person weddings, especially if they want to serve a full meal and steak or seafood or appetizers and have a full service desert besides the wedding cake and maybe a side cake for people with allergies, so what can you do to be able to make sure your guests are well fed and happy and you don't need to break your bank.
This is actually one of the easier things to do. You can easily buy bulk appetizers at Costco or Sams Club before your wedding (also a great place to buy wine and champagne cheap) and before the wedding ceremony have someone baking them in the church or synagoge or in your house and serve them just before your wedding ceremony and just after. Make sure they are not the pigs in a blanket but potato puffs and things that are heavy and filling. If you can get them snacking all day and get them weighed down with heavy filling appetizers that are cheap, you can do appetizers and dancing then champagne and cake toasts and not have to spend a ton of money on steak, fish and chicken dinners with an overpriced caterer and venue serving service. You can however find cheap appetizers with the wedding caterer and venue catering service so that is ok and lets them make some money as well. I love this trick and most people won't even notice the difference. I do recommend that you write your guests or let them know that you will not be serving a full meal at the wedding reception so that they can eat before the wedding, and you give a couple hours in between the ceremony and the reception so that they can stop for food on the way to the party. Make sure you let them know that you will be serving appetizers though so that they can save some room and make sure they know there will be cake since everyone does love wedding cake.
4. Clothing. It doesn't matter if you are gay, straight, Lesbian or Transgendered...If you are getting married you have to make sure that you keep with the wedding colors and theme and if it is a gay wedding between two men, wear the same damn colors or the colors for your wedding.
The wedding I went to this weekend, the two grooms were both hot and very fashionable...however no one who didn't know them could tell they were the couple. There were a ton of people asking who the grooms were and no one who didn't know them could answer. The one wore and suit and the other a tuxedo. That isn't too bad, but what was really bad was one had a white bowtie, the other wore a paisly green neck tie and neither the suit or the tuxedo even closely matched each other. Then, the groomsmen (no women in the party at this wedding) were all wearing different colored suits and ties and it looked like sh*t. You have to remember to not only coordinate with your partner...you can wear different suits and tuxedos to match your body type, but you have to at least match so everyone knows who the couple is and so your wedding photos don't stick out like a sore thumb and actually look like a wedding photo. If you do not match and your wedding party has no theme, you'll have a prom photo instead of a wedding photo and who wants to look through a wedding album and have it look more like a high school dance then a wedding? I am pretty sure you want the wedding photos to be about you and not a barmitzvah with no one as the center of attention. Remember to coordinate and match each other to show off each others best assets and best appearance. This is for everyone, Gay, Straight or whatever the hell you are. lol...can you tell this was a big one on my list of mistakes people make....and what was really shocking was that it was from two fashionable gay guys at this wedding.
5. Being Social. One thing that is soo simple but people always forget at their wedding is to have fun with their partner. You are soo wrapped up in getting your pictures taken, saying hello to every guest, walking to each table to say hi that you run out of time to eat and be with your partner. With the exception of your first dance as a Married Couple, you won't see much of each other except in photos and that is why it is important to have your Best Man and Maid of Honor to block off everyone for 30 minutes so the two of you can have you time and enjoy the wedding.
Take some time to look over the building and enjoy your food...don't forget to eat something at the wedding, even if its away from the room because you will need your strength and blood sugar up, and then some time to walk around as a married couple without people interrupting you and to enjoy your wedding that you are paying for and your husband or wife that you are now finally married too. Taking time to eat and enjoy your wedding without anyone interrupting you is not only important but crucial to you both remembering how much you were in love that day and for the rest of your lives as a married couple. It is also important to remember to eat so you aren't cranky and can be in full gear so you don't phase out and can enjoy your wedding reception and party all night and until your guests go home. Remember, your wedding is your day and you need to enjoy it too.
Remember to not make these simple mistakes, serve drinks, make sure all decorations and cakes re perfect from all angles, find a way to serve food whether it is a meal or small appetizers, Match all your clothing and make sure you communicate the colors and what you are serving to all guests or bridal parties and groomsmen and try to take some time for the two of you without anyone interrupting you two. That is why you have a Best Man and Maid of Honor, to keep everyone else away so you can have fun at your own wedding.
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