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A very popular trend with couples now adays, both gay and straight, seems to be opening up your relationship. Now, before I get into talking about open relationships and how they can help to save your relationship and marriage, I would like to point out that this is not for everyone and can lead to numerous problems including, STDs, Lack of Trust, One partner falling in love with another person, cheating outside your pre-set boundaries and more. With that said, there is room for some couples to involve a third person or multiple partners outside of your relationship.

Sometimes when you just don't have that spark or during dry spells or times of great stress, you may loose your interest in sex with your partner. Some people will find that toys and videos help to reignite romance, while others will try role playing or get a little kinky with ropes and restraints. Although these are very common for many couples, even though they will not admit to it publicly, it just might not be enough for you and your particular situation. This is when you may want to consider opening up and playing with another person.

Before I get started on how to do this and things to remember, the most important thing to do when opening your relationship up is to define what is allowed and what is not allowed. Sit down with your partner and have a talk about this, or even set up a list and come up with answers and rules for it.

Some of the things to discuss before your open your relationship are:

  • Do you play together or separate?
  • Do you play at home or do you use other people's homes? This is key as after you have a three way or fool around on the side, it could create an odd feeling inside your living space so you really need to consider this before you begin. Your home is where you should be most comfortable and you should never jepordize that.
  • If you decide to play separate, do you talk about it first or do you do it anonymously?
  • Are you allowed to sleep with people you already know?
  • Are you willing to have the third or fourth person be of the same sex?
  • Etc...
Now before you make the decision to jump into opening your sex life, think about a few things.

Although you may trust each other and you may not be the jealous type, while you are trying out your first three way as a couple, you need to make sure that you give plenty of attention to your partner and take care of his or her needs. This is about using someone else's body as a tool to get the mojo back between you two and not to just get off. Although that may sound wrong at first, you guys are the focus and the extra person is the tool you are using to pull your relationship back together.

You also have to make sure that you do everything in your power to prevent any emotional attachment from developing towards the new person. By preventing emotions from developing, you can now work at finding out what you each need from each other, not to mention maybe discover a few new things about each other.

Now, I'd like to take the second from the last bullet above as it is very important. You and/or your partner might not be bisexual or you may not want to sleep with the person that they want to. This is especially important for straight couples or couples who have a person who wants to experiment. Although you may want to try having sex with someone of the same or opposite sex, that does not mean your partner does. For straight couples, it is important to take turns with your threeways and and to trade off between guys and girls so that both of your needs are met. For gay couples, if you are bringing in someone of the opposite sex, you are going to have to ensure that it is ok with your partner and you are going to have to make sure to make it up or pay special attention to your partner as it will be even more awkward for your lover.

I could go on and on about things to think about when opening up your relationship, but unfortunately, my dinner just got here and I am starving. Three ways are fun and can be a great way to bring back that spark. Just make sure that you think it out thoroughly and really weight all options before you try it. As always, use protection regardless of who you sleep with as the worst thing you could do is bring something home and give it to the person you love.


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